Thursday, February 19, 2009

Yummy lifesavers in Oz

Just got back from Bondi Beach - pronounced Bon-die, not Bondee, as we found out. Thirty minutes from town, it's a perfect, soft, sandy crescent with just a few beachgoers since it's a weekday. The ocean was angry, however, with crashing turquoise waves bearing many surfers. Waaay too cold to swim, in my opinion, which explained the wetsuits, though it was sunny and warm enough to wear swimsuits comfortably. I wandered up to the lifeguard station, since lifeguards are so prestigious here I had to see some up close and personal. Bondi lifesavers are even more famous, as they have their own reality TV series. I found two very handsome representatives manning a place that looked somewhat like an airport control tower. They nicely posed for a picture, then explained how they identify poor swimmers likely to need rescue. Apparently those who try to jump OVER the humongous waves rather than ducking under aren't very seaworthy. Far too soon, I had to depart and let them return to work. Culinary delights of Bondi include: grilled octopus on skewers (in fact, we've seen so many cooked octopi that I'm beginning to wonder if the population can bear such heavy harvests) and deep-fried Mars Bars - like deep-fried Oreos, these last are impossibly delectable and clog your arteries as you chew.

Yesterday, we visited the Sydney Opera House and were surprised to find that though its shells look pure white from afar, they are actually sheathed in a zig-zag pattern of beige and white ceramic tiles. For some reason - maybe the dumb, gullible looks on our faces, or the distraction of trying once again to stop the kids from needling each other - a bunch of young sailors visiting the Opera House commandeered us to supplement an impromptu performance of the Australian national anthem, though we know only two words in the entire song: Australia fair.

The Royal Botanical Gardens - a free activity!! - had beautiful plantings and expansive lawns. A geometric herb garden contained possibly my favorite fountain ever: a round brass ball about 4 feet high that spilled water over its entire surface, but ONLY when one stepped close to it. The roses also were numerous and colorful and smelled heavenly. The Gardens encourage visitors to enjoy themselves thoroughly by hugging trees, walking on the grass, talking to the wildlife, etc. They have a fine sense of humor here and in the city in general: the sign for the acacia, a.ka. the wattle tree (which has a fluffy bottlebrush-like bloom) contained a Monty Python quote, something along the lines of "This is the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can put it in a bottle or hold it in your hand." The city building that records births, deaths and marriages is referred to by locals as "the hatch, match and dispatch." The harbor tower, which controls all berths on Sydney's waterfront, is called "the pill." 

We hiked to the top of Sydney's highest building: Sydney Tower, which free city guides refer to as "the most iconic building in Sydney" - um, don't they know the rest of the world believes the Opera House owns that title? Besides, the Tower resembles a giant gold Bed Bath & Beyond trash can on stilts. By that time of the day, we were dragging butt from jetlag, which explains our decisions to purchase kangaroo jerky in the sky-high souvenir shop and snooze with our backs against a cracked windowpane on the Tower's observation deck. Our advice: do not purchase kangaroo jerky. It has a strange, rancid, gritty taste perhaps explained by roadkill origins.

We visited a street market where we purchased potpourri in an attempt to overcome the very bothersome odor in our hotel room. Laura's antipathy toward the place continues. When I mentioned that I thought louvered bathroom doors were a pretty dumb idea in a tiny space shared by four people, she said, "Solid doors are expensive. The management spends its money instead on durian fruits for every room." For those unfamiliar with durian, it's a fruit so stinky that it's banned on public transport in most of Asia.

That's it for now. Gotta tune in to the popular reality show "Bondi Vet" about, what else, another hunky, blond Australian. Seriously, these buff dudes are everywhere and my neck is getting sore. Before I sign off, though, here's our itinerary: board our ship tomorrow - I can't wait to unpack and hope they don't confiscate the Glenlivet hidden in my suitcase - then to Melbourne, Hobart in Tasmania, Adelaide, Exmouth, Freemantle - one of these Australia stops has whale sharks in residence at this time of year - Singapore, Vietnam, Cambodia. We hop off the boat in Thailand, spend a few beach days on the Andaman Sea, head to the Malaysian Perhentian Islands (supposedly the perfect tropical paradise) for snorkeling, Brunei, Borneo for a wildlife trek to see orangutans and Sumatran rhinos, then back to Singapore and home. Final note: to those we've tried to Skype, we humbly apologize for the random hang-ups, bad connections, heavy breathing, cranky comments like, "is it working now??" and saying "what???" a million times. Unfortunately, VOIP still has some kinks.