"'At's Moy Cah, Mate, but No Worries!"

We’re just departing Exmouth – a tiny, desiccated town of 2,500 on Australia’s northwestern coast that just happens to be the gateway to Ningaloo Marine Park. Ningaloo, a little-known mecca of stellar marine life, comprises the largest fringeing reef in all of Australia and we had a wonderful day there. The area looks exactly as if the southwestern U.S. suddenly found itself seaside: similar red rocks, scrubby trees and low bushes, red earth, deserted countryside.

The ship anchored off Exmouth, since the town has no deepwater harbor, and we took small boats into shore. From there, even smaller busses ran us into town, such as it was. You could probably nap undisturbed in the middle of the road through the town’s central square. We made friends with the local IGA clerk – “Oh, what an adorable baby!!” - who looked up car rental places for us, and then we hiked over to Allen’s car hire. I swear that the friendly fellow who helped us gave us his personal wheels for the day. It was a beat up pickup truck sporting a big ding in the front windshield and a smashed overhead light. While we did the usual rental car walkabout, the guy concluded it by saying cheerfully, “We don’t really care what it looks like when you bring it back as long as you don’t hit something right sizeable like a kangaroo or an emu.”

We spent an hour traversing the peninsula, reminding Jeff to drive on the left, viewing two big, dumb emus standing by the road but nary a kangaroo. We paid our park entry and hopped into the water, which was bathtub warm, exceptionally clear and filled with fish, including two sharks that cruised slowly by. Adam declared it the best snorkeling he’s ever seen, and we even ferreted out several carbon copies of denizens in our tank. It was so funny to see that the wild cousins acted very much like our pets: for example, even if you seriously startle a lawnmower blenny, he will hide in a place where he can still see out, completely convinced that he is invisibly camouflaged as a rock. I am constantly amazed at how close you can get to marine fish – often, they seem just as curious about us as we are about them. Some of the fish were enormous: parrot fish about 3 feet long, though they are just as cowed by damsels as all the other creatures of the deep. Apparently, the damsels either don’t know they are only a few inches long or conveniently ignore that fact. We also swam through clouds of tiny little green fish. I think the corals – we saw a plate coral about 8 feet across, and these types often break before getting even half that big – and fish were so magnificent because so few people disturb them. The beach was huge and almost deserted.

Happily, we did not see blue-ringed octopi or box jellies, both of which can be fatal. We did, however, see a number of cone snails, which also can kill you. Should you ever need to know, cone snails frequent almost every sea and invariably the shell looks empty, but that’s part of their ruse. Shock the one who disturbs them with a quick jab, then dilly dally a few minutes as the prey rapidly expires next to them and becomes dinner. They just don’t seem to care that humans are way too big for even the heartiest cone snail appetite.

No, the only hazard we encountered was sunburn. We are all very red and have a few painful days ahead of us. I can’t remember the last time I was sunburned – even as a kid, my mom chased me around with sunscreen and I completely escaped the wretched affliction. But heed my words: do not buy Coppertone Sport SPF 50. You know how they say that satisfied customers tell 2 people and unsatisfied ones tell 50? Well, I am motivated enough to author the Coppertone version of the famous PPT presentation still enjoying internet fame: “The Marriott Courtyard is a Very Bad Hotel.” I’ll call mine “Coppertone Sport SPF 50 is a Very Bad Sunscreen.” Pertinent points to cover: was not waterproof; was not rubproof; we hated the color of the bottle; we paid too much; we were seduced by blatant marketing slogans; the directions were poor (“Apply liberally” What the @#^& does that really mean? A thimbleful? A paint roller?), it gives the unfortunate illusion of cool, creamy efficacy; it exuded a fresh scent that lulled us into complacency; the cap has a faulty hinge, etc. We thought the first blush of sunburn the other day was a fluke, but noooooo…

On to Singapore after three (somewhat uncomfortable) days at sea. We’re on a mission to eat the absolute best chicken rice and sample the many excellent – and because it’s Singapore, safe - street foods on offer.